A Nightmare Reborn
Chapter 3 Part 5
Traversing the narrow passageway between the hills had became more of a calloused task than I had thought. My thoughts weren't trustworthy, as often they aren't, and I believed that there may be some invisible strings attempting to lead me away from my dream. My dreams, before, had never been quite as...ambitious. Life, as forementioned, up to this point has been unmentionable. What is there to this life? This question has plagued many scholars since time has began. We've all wanted a deeper meaning to our petty existence. Why do we bother with our inquiries that seem nothing more than wanderings in a fathomless space? We do not need meaning, as often actions need no further explanation. If we choose to act with little guidance, we'd be so much happier, filling ourselves with a less questionable existence. Existence itself is the curse that is the companion to awareness. Away, you awful devil. I do not know you, questioning nature. My soul belongs to a complying mood, one that will fulfill my master's wish.
I'm not sure why my thoughts have become so translucent. My mind has such a way of thinking now that it seems that my thoughts are not my own. I believe Alice is singing to me from afar. Her squalid song has tried to alleviate my madness, as if she is insuring that I complete my valuable mission. If I fail, she will fail, and her sweet lover will never see her again. I am sure that my goal is to find Althia, Alice's wretched, monstrous half, her forlorn mother. She mocks my diligence, as if it is a product that is a mere nuisance to her. What secrets she has shared with me may be nothing but pity offerings, baubles offered to those who are poor of heart. None seem truly worthy, as I hunger for more. What is nigh is nigh, and my pay has been one that resembles a poor man's. I do not wish to trifle or revolt, but I seek the fabled gift that all men seek from their god, that being happiness. Joy is what I have longed to touch, as my life is now trivial. The mosaic sky can no longer appease me, as its cover hides the cosmos. The cosmos itself are what I want to recover, grasping their knowledge. When I learn what the cosmos have to offer I can find Althia, seizing the blessed location of Alice for myself. She hides Alice from me just so I can do the old god's bidding, as I fear now the chores and all of their inferior ways will never end.
Just as I had given up on my search, I found something most startling. On the ground held a clue to a deviant past. What appeared to be a memento of a more oblivious time laid before me, taunting my questioning eyes. It was my badge for the NYPD, it being the same shield I received for reaching the rank of sergeant shortly before my resignation. It had been a rocky voyage throughout my career as a policeman, especially near the end. After I had promised to protect our city, I found myself at wit's end, choosing to leave the force for what many called mutual reasons. The truth was that I grew tired of the life, as each day was a mere reminder of my singular tense. Each night I went home to no one, and it was not long before my current situation got the best of me, leading to bouts of depression, culminating in constant indulgences with the bottle. As my thoughts worsened, I found myself leaving the force, without anyone attempting to argue. None seemed to care when I left, and now I do not wonder why this badge that I previously possessed was here. It, like all lost tokens of a distant existence, are prone to be littered on this plane. As I grabbed up the badge and clutched it in serenity, I ventured to pitch it into the abyss below, glad to see it shine one last time in the sun as it twirled to its doom. Goodbye, fractured portion of the past. What weight you hold is no longer. Althia, continue to mock me. I will not question you as long as you make me ache mentally. If pleasure is ever found in pain I do not know it, realizing that the psyche's anguish is nothing but just that, unquestionable torment.
Chapter 3 Part 5
Traversing the narrow passageway between the hills had became more of a calloused task than I had thought. My thoughts weren't trustworthy, as often they aren't, and I believed that there may be some invisible strings attempting to lead me away from my dream. My dreams, before, had never been quite as...ambitious. Life, as forementioned, up to this point has been unmentionable. What is there to this life? This question has plagued many scholars since time has began. We've all wanted a deeper meaning to our petty existence. Why do we bother with our inquiries that seem nothing more than wanderings in a fathomless space? We do not need meaning, as often actions need no further explanation. If we choose to act with little guidance, we'd be so much happier, filling ourselves with a less questionable existence. Existence itself is the curse that is the companion to awareness. Away, you awful devil. I do not know you, questioning nature. My soul belongs to a complying mood, one that will fulfill my master's wish.
I'm not sure why my thoughts have become so translucent. My mind has such a way of thinking now that it seems that my thoughts are not my own. I believe Alice is singing to me from afar. Her squalid song has tried to alleviate my madness, as if she is insuring that I complete my valuable mission. If I fail, she will fail, and her sweet lover will never see her again. I am sure that my goal is to find Althia, Alice's wretched, monstrous half, her forlorn mother. She mocks my diligence, as if it is a product that is a mere nuisance to her. What secrets she has shared with me may be nothing but pity offerings, baubles offered to those who are poor of heart. None seem truly worthy, as I hunger for more. What is nigh is nigh, and my pay has been one that resembles a poor man's. I do not wish to trifle or revolt, but I seek the fabled gift that all men seek from their god, that being happiness. Joy is what I have longed to touch, as my life is now trivial. The mosaic sky can no longer appease me, as its cover hides the cosmos. The cosmos itself are what I want to recover, grasping their knowledge. When I learn what the cosmos have to offer I can find Althia, seizing the blessed location of Alice for myself. She hides Alice from me just so I can do the old god's bidding, as I fear now the chores and all of their inferior ways will never end.
Just as I had given up on my search, I found something most startling. On the ground held a clue to a deviant past. What appeared to be a memento of a more oblivious time laid before me, taunting my questioning eyes. It was my badge for the NYPD, it being the same shield I received for reaching the rank of sergeant shortly before my resignation. It had been a rocky voyage throughout my career as a policeman, especially near the end. After I had promised to protect our city, I found myself at wit's end, choosing to leave the force for what many called mutual reasons. The truth was that I grew tired of the life, as each day was a mere reminder of my singular tense. Each night I went home to no one, and it was not long before my current situation got the best of me, leading to bouts of depression, culminating in constant indulgences with the bottle. As my thoughts worsened, I found myself leaving the force, without anyone attempting to argue. None seemed to care when I left, and now I do not wonder why this badge that I previously possessed was here. It, like all lost tokens of a distant existence, are prone to be littered on this plane. As I grabbed up the badge and clutched it in serenity, I ventured to pitch it into the abyss below, glad to see it shine one last time in the sun as it twirled to its doom. Goodbye, fractured portion of the past. What weight you hold is no longer. Althia, continue to mock me. I will not question you as long as you make me ache mentally. If pleasure is ever found in pain I do not know it, realizing that the psyche's anguish is nothing but just that, unquestionable torment.
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