A Nightmare Reborn
Chapter 4 Part 3
My mind has never felt such a gentle pain. As the entrance shaft seemed to demonstrate a normal appearance, my fear grew, and I thought the subtle atmosphere was nothing more than a clever deception. In an act of extreme desperation, I said, my voice cautious with uncertainty,
“Where are you?”
Of course Alice didn't answer me back. There shall be no mercy upon my mind, body, and soul. My heart became shallow, and I firmly believed the beasts will appear at any given moment in this forsaken mine. When I had finally made it to the inner bowels of the mine, I had no choice but to sit down on the harsh earthen floor, laughing to myself as I've gone far past disturbed. I said, this time completely in a delirium,
“Mother, mother, where art thou?”
I closed my eyes, and, to my astonishment, she was there. My mother, luminescent as a ghost might be, stood before me, her eyes sullen and dire. I asked her, carefully,
“Are we to die here?”
My mother smiled, even though her eyes had started to fill with tears. I fought back my instincts, them whispering loudly in my ear. I can't embrace her, no, not when I'm like this. I've became something she hates, a savage beast, one possessed by the esoteric notion of love. My mother, almost as if she had picked up on my thoughts, finally answered,
“You are stronger than that.”
Maybe death was my desire. I know that my sanity will only lessen as I continue forward into the depths of this horrendous nightmare. Now, nothing seems real, including this phantasm who barely mocks my actual mother. Even still, I couldn't but recall the peaceful memories that had accompanied me when I had lived with my blessed mother. She was the strong nurturer that I had always needed, and it is not all false that I had been the one who let her die. My sister's accusations were not in vain. I had chosen not to remain at her side when she was ill, meaning I had been the one who was inevitably to blame. Could she have survived? I do not know, but, right now, as I gazed upon my memories’ projection of her, I knew that I deeply regretted the ignorance that I had given my mother in her last days. As I raised up my hand, I said,
“Forgive me…”
She sobbed, covering her eyes as she seemed to bleed ghostly tears. What was concerning was the color of her tears, as they had more things in common with blood than anything else. It struck me as odd that this phantasm could act utterly so human. As I stepped forward, hypnotized by her sweet facade, I watched her outer appearance melt away, revealing her true essence. It was a beast, one with horns, hooves, and an elongated face. Its mouth hid long teeth that were as jagged as they were sinister. How could this beast have intruded upon my very own mind? It doesn't matter, for it will kill me if I allow it to stay here any longer. Nothing can make sense now, for I must strike the beast in my very own mind, yea, for this beast was never in my mind, it's nothing but a cheating counterfeit that wants to destroy my shallow heart. I rose my gun, holding it to my head, threatening to end the beast and thus me. My nervous sweat dripped from my brow, soaking my dirt coated collar. I had never been so certain about ending my life, and I laughed loudly, as only a madman would, shaking violently with insanity. It noticed my gesture, and, miraculously, it bestowed mercy upon me, and I came out of the trance.
The lantern I held revealed the size of this mysterious mine, it having several tracks, mine carts, and abandoned picks. I didn't know where to begin, and I asked, softly, thinking that my pleas would not fall upon deaf ears,
“Where are you, my beloved?”
Chapter 4 Part 3
My mind has never felt such a gentle pain. As the entrance shaft seemed to demonstrate a normal appearance, my fear grew, and I thought the subtle atmosphere was nothing more than a clever deception. In an act of extreme desperation, I said, my voice cautious with uncertainty,
“Where are you?”
Of course Alice didn't answer me back. There shall be no mercy upon my mind, body, and soul. My heart became shallow, and I firmly believed the beasts will appear at any given moment in this forsaken mine. When I had finally made it to the inner bowels of the mine, I had no choice but to sit down on the harsh earthen floor, laughing to myself as I've gone far past disturbed. I said, this time completely in a delirium,
“Mother, mother, where art thou?”
I closed my eyes, and, to my astonishment, she was there. My mother, luminescent as a ghost might be, stood before me, her eyes sullen and dire. I asked her, carefully,
“Are we to die here?”
My mother smiled, even though her eyes had started to fill with tears. I fought back my instincts, them whispering loudly in my ear. I can't embrace her, no, not when I'm like this. I've became something she hates, a savage beast, one possessed by the esoteric notion of love. My mother, almost as if she had picked up on my thoughts, finally answered,
“You are stronger than that.”
Maybe death was my desire. I know that my sanity will only lessen as I continue forward into the depths of this horrendous nightmare. Now, nothing seems real, including this phantasm who barely mocks my actual mother. Even still, I couldn't but recall the peaceful memories that had accompanied me when I had lived with my blessed mother. She was the strong nurturer that I had always needed, and it is not all false that I had been the one who let her die. My sister's accusations were not in vain. I had chosen not to remain at her side when she was ill, meaning I had been the one who was inevitably to blame. Could she have survived? I do not know, but, right now, as I gazed upon my memories’ projection of her, I knew that I deeply regretted the ignorance that I had given my mother in her last days. As I raised up my hand, I said,
“Forgive me…”
She sobbed, covering her eyes as she seemed to bleed ghostly tears. What was concerning was the color of her tears, as they had more things in common with blood than anything else. It struck me as odd that this phantasm could act utterly so human. As I stepped forward, hypnotized by her sweet facade, I watched her outer appearance melt away, revealing her true essence. It was a beast, one with horns, hooves, and an elongated face. Its mouth hid long teeth that were as jagged as they were sinister. How could this beast have intruded upon my very own mind? It doesn't matter, for it will kill me if I allow it to stay here any longer. Nothing can make sense now, for I must strike the beast in my very own mind, yea, for this beast was never in my mind, it's nothing but a cheating counterfeit that wants to destroy my shallow heart. I rose my gun, holding it to my head, threatening to end the beast and thus me. My nervous sweat dripped from my brow, soaking my dirt coated collar. I had never been so certain about ending my life, and I laughed loudly, as only a madman would, shaking violently with insanity. It noticed my gesture, and, miraculously, it bestowed mercy upon me, and I came out of the trance.
The lantern I held revealed the size of this mysterious mine, it having several tracks, mine carts, and abandoned picks. I didn't know where to begin, and I asked, softly, thinking that my pleas would not fall upon deaf ears,
“Where are you, my beloved?”
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